re:work

Years ago, I was an unpaid intern waiting in line for the commuter bus at the end of a long summer day. In the humidity, I’d shift my weight from one foot to the other wondering if any window seats would be available. It’s certainly not lost on me how odd it is that I could have such romantic ideas about work even after regularly commuting through heavy traffic with adults who never seemed thrilled to go to work and who always seemed worn out on their way home.

Confident I wasn’t alone in how I felt, I reached out to my network and asked those who loved their jobs to share their thoughts with me. That led to wonderfully honest conversations with a dozen folks – many of whom I had not seen in years. Since we spend most of our waking time at work, it’s not surprising that we have plenty to say on the role that work should play in our lives.

There were four main questions that I wanted to answer.

I’ll share the insights and stories that came out of those conversations to help you build your own patchwork philosophy on work. I hope they will spark healthy conversations about the questions that we silently ponder on Sunday evenings or while looking out the window of a commuter bus.

Please note: All have given me permission to share their thoughts and will remain anonymous.

leaving jobs

The last few lines of my blog post is this adulting? read, “I love my new job… Joy is ever present in my life.” Despite the challenging transition at the time, I was learning a lot and collaborating with awesome people. It wasn’t thrilling everyday, but there was plenty to enjoy, and I genuinely loved it.

Ten months later, I quit.

Why do we leave the jobs that we chose? The jobs that we loved? The jobs that we researched, were sure about, and invested in?

My LinkedIn feed makes me think that people leave their jobs solely because a better opportunity presented itself. So let’s reframe the question.

Why are people looking to move on from jobs they were once excited about?

The twelve folks I interviewed shared their stories. One received an amazing opportunity that they weren’t seeking. Another mentioned the desire to live abroad. Some talked about the “grass is greener” mentality. Others felt disconnected from their organization’s mission.

Many talked of jobs that served as a placeholder or stepping stone. These jobs allowed them to take the time to figure out their interests or make money for their next chapter. In this case, it makes sense to move on when the time is right. However, a few of our dozen left sooner than they would have wanted to.

I will say this: There is rarely just one reason. Why? It takes a lot to land and get settled in the right job. Employees are sandwiched between what are essentially the same costs – the sunk and expected costs of the application process, relocation (if applicable), training, and assimilating.

There was a recurring theme in a majority of the narratives I heard: managers who seemed to forget that they were managing people. Here are a few examples.

At a startup, one of our dozen struggled with having to wear too many hats – there was a clear imbalance in the division of responsibilities along with the unrealistic expectation to be good at everything without proper support.
One individual spoke about the byproduct of their company’s growing pains: the misalignment of leadership’s intention and impact. This manifested in a lack of transparency, cliqueiness amongst management, and ineffective use of feedback. Separately, unchallenging and dull work left them feeling stagnant despite a strong desire to grow.
I held my breath as I learned about the lack of support at one professional services company. “You only get support if you deserve it… [but] if you don’t support people when they’re struggling, how are they supposed to reach their maximum potential?”
One spoke of management’s blatant disregard for employee welfare in favor of better metrics. The manager’s closest allies were the ones who shared the same vision, which only seemed to fuel their myopia.
The bait-and-switch: Although promised a specific role prior to joining, one professional later found themselves tied to a completely different role. This was explained away by the unsatisfying reason, “We need to do what’s best for the business.” Further indicative of mismanagement, a substantial number of their cohort was laid off within a year of starting.

Other stories featured moving performance targets, mistreatment, a lack of substantial work and development opportunities, unhealthy work/life balance, and general feelings of instability.

Another common thread? They spoke up when they needed help or wanted change.

There are a lot of reasons why people want to move on.

What are we doing to help them stay?

loving jobs

Only three of our dozen could confidently say that they loved their job. Some asked what it means. Another asked why it matters.

By my fourth conversation, I realized that loving a job looks different for everyone. That’s because we each have our own unique personality and mix of preferences, priorities, and KSAs.

Although loving a job may mean a lot of different things including enjoyment, growth, empowerment, or stability; it’s clear that it doesn’t entail perfection.

Without further ado, here are some highlights from the stories that made me smile.

A consultant gushed about their first project. “The work wasn’t always exciting, but I was able to take on a lot of roles and had a lot of opportunities for growth.”
After passionately explaining their startup’s business model, a new employee said they were excited to wake up to work on something with a mission.
Despite a bureaucratic environment and lack of perks, one tech employee recounted their enjoyment working with a strong team to solve challenging and novel problems. They talked about finding comfort in associating with “some of the smartest people in the world” and being able to discuss anything with their team (“not just work!”).
When asked why they loved their job so much, one employee immediately replied, “Well, it’s not the work.” For nearly half an hour, they explained the amazing impact that the company had and the ways in which leadership showed that they cared deeply about their people. What surprised me was that there was never a mention of company values. They also spoke of enjoying the flexibility of their job and their casual conversations with the CEO.
“I love my job because I’m constantly challenged and I don’t know what tomorrow’s going to look like.” This tech employee liked that their job “works both sides of [their] brain” and that their work is both internally and externally valuable (“Do I think it’s valuable and do other people think it’s valuable and interesting?”).
“Life should be easy.” One public servant spoke of enjoying the stability and work/life balance that a government position could provide. They said that although they “will never make f*ck you money”, they can see themself at the agency for the rest of their life because “there’s plenty of meaningful work to be done”. They also noted that status matters saying, “I’m successful on paper and that’s important to me.”

For some, an easier question seemed to be “What does it mean to be happy at work? What does it look like?” A tech employee said, “not counting the hours and enjoying the work like you would a hobby.” Another professional said it looks like this: “The people are great, and I’m having fun and working hard.”

If you’re having trouble defining it, ask yourself the same question. Take inspiration from the days at work when you were the happiest or most productive. You’ll need to know what loving a job means to you before answering the question, “Is it important?”

If it’s not important to you, that’s okay! I’ll sprinkle some quotes from our dozen in here for you too.

“As long as you have something you love, it doesn’t have to be your job.”
“Work is work. Everyone is different.”
“I like my job because I like what it does for me.”

Don’t feel pressured to love your job if you’re content with where you are now. However, be able to identify and keep a pulse on what matters to you. Communicate that to your manager so they’re able to help ensure your needs are being met.

a calling

Once on a first date, I listened as the other attendee, a musician, shared that they were having doubts about their career choice. I replied, “Well, what else would you do?” It wasn’t meant to be a rhetorical question (I really didn’t know what other interests and skills they had), but they just nodded. Later on, they chirped that my response helped them realize they were on the right path. I did my best impression of a knowing nod.

Despite being set in a Michael Schur comedy, that day ignited my curiosity about the elusive idea of a calling. So when interviewing our dozen, I asked them about it.

Unsurprisingly, many had different takes on this idea.

A source of fulfillment. One consultant said that their generation is questioning the idea that “work is just a paycheck and serves to support our lives outside of work”. They said technological advances that enable us to work anywhere contribute to increasingly blurred lines between work and life. “If we’re going to spend so much time doing something, we might as well enjoy it, right? Or should we try to really keep work at 40 hours and have fulfillment come from other activities?” They went back and forth with themselves for a while. “So much of our identity is wrapped up in work, but if it’s all in work and that work were to go away, does that mean our identity goes away?”

I pondered this question until a former educator confidently said, “I’m still a teacher even if I’m not in a classroom.” They said they have carried with them their ability and love of teaching and building up others. Another manager reminded me that a calling doesn’t need to reflect or translate into our jobs.

A driving mission. One tech employee who pivoted from the health track said their initial goal was to “do no harm with medicine”. Now, they’re focused on building software that doesn’t bring people harm. They think everyone should ask themselves, “What’s my driving motivation?” as working towards a goal will help them fit in anywhere regardless of location, organization, and industry.

Something we are meant to do. One manager said this: “I believe everyone was put on this Earth for something. Some people never figure it out. It’s a voice that you always hear, and sometimes it gets louder and other times it’s very subtle. Some people ignore it and some people go for it. They go for it because they know they were meant to do it. Sometimes you may think it’s one thing, and it turns out to be something totally different.” Initially believing they were meant to work in fashion, they later felt called to inspire others and help them grow.

A tech employee mentioned that their belief in a calling came from their faith. They said, “Life has to mean more than just working and surviving. I hope there is a calling for me.”

Natural talent. Seated by the window, my petite mother (a tailor and not one of the twelve) swung her legs back and forth and said, “A calling is where you have natural talent. There are people who don’t like what they’re good at, but I like it and find it fun.”

An analyst said they found it difficult to think they were meant to be elsewhere and cited three reasons: 1) “I’m good at my job and qualified for it.” 2) “I was so far ahead of the game when I started.” 3) “Because of who I am, I’m a better fit than most people.”

* * *

As I listened to some of the folks wrestle with their thoughts, I realized the heaviness of the idea. How do we know when we are meant to do something? What if it changes? What if we’re not good at it? What if we don’t like it? What if it doesn’t exist for us?

I don’t have the answers. My only hope is that we are able to minimize our regret with the work (paid or not) in which we choose to invest our time. One tech employee wisely said, “If people are willing to change, then they will find what they’re looking for. Life is really long and you can do a lot.”

The world has a lot offer and so do you. What will you do with your time and talents?

the right fit

Our dozen shared their advice on searching for and finding the right fit.

Know yourself.

Know your accomplishments. What are your three greatest accomplishments that you learned the most from?
Know your strengths. Examine inflection points to see what strengths were brought out during those times.
Know your non-negotiables. Write them down! If a company you’re interested in violates any of them in any way, move on.

Research.

Learn about the company’s mission, vision, values, and culture. How much digital space are they taking to convey these things?
See if they walk the walk. What are people saying about the company in the news? What are their employees saying on Indeed/Glassdoor? Examine their turnover and growth strategy.

Interview the company.

Ask good questions to understand your interviewer’s day-to-day and their thoughts on working at the company.
Discern the truth in their responses. Are they giving you cookie cutter answers? Are they reading off the company’s website?
Assess professional compatibility. Try to meet as many people you’d be working with. They may be fun to have a beer with, but would they be great to solve problems with?

Use your resources.

Strengthen and take advantage of your network. Your connections may know which opportunities will suit you better than you do.
Read books or listen to podcasts about career topics including interviewing and switching careers. There are many free resources out there.

Have realistic expectations.

Your career is a marathon not a sprint. Take the time to explore your interests and make moves when the time is right.
Accepting a job is a calculated risk. We do the best we can, but at the end of the day, we have to leave a lot up to chance.

It’d be easier to say all of these things if I were on the other side, but at least you can hear me clearly here. It’s been a pleasure to share these conversations with you all. Best of luck in your careers!

2021.03.01