makeup

There was a time last year when I felt really unfeminine. I decided to purchase makeup in the middle of the night, which, honestly, is not as simple as it looks.

For one, there’s the price factor. I don’t want to pay $50 for a product that will last only a couple of months. To me, that’s the furthest thing from an investment. So I read the reviews, some of which were completely nonsensical.

“This waterproof mascara is so hard to take off. 1 star.”

“I am happy with this product. 3 stars.”

Additionally, a majority of the reviewers used beauty jargon and slang from makeup videos, which I rarely watch. 20% of my time was spent looking up words like baking, fallout, and carmine.

Somehow, I managed to finish shopping. My sister was the one who told me which products were both affordable and of high quality. Bless her heart. Other family members were not as helpful. After my first makeup look, my father said, “It looks better than no makeup, but it also looks like you were in a fight.” My brother said my perfume smelled like air freshener.

I guess this is what happens when you try to be something you’re not.